LIVE LIKE A WILD THING
Live Like A Wild Thing
This blog post reflects on the most important lesson I learned during my time in the military. My four years on active duty and two years in the reserves taught me countless important lessons, but above all, it was this: stop feeling sorry for yourself.
It took me years—even well into my employment—to truly internalize this. Looking back now, the self-pity I carried is painfully evident in nearly every Facebook post I made before the age of 25 (thank you, Facebook memories). For some reason, my brain struggled to comprehend a simple truth: the world doesn’t owe you sympathy.
Self-pity wasn’t confined to my social media posts. During my early twenties, I’d often drink too much at parties and then expect the world to feel bad for me as I dealt with hangovers or vomited the next day. It’s uncomfortable to admit, but it took me a long time to understand that most people don’t care. This isn’t to say you don’t have family and friends who love you—of course, you do. But most people are busy living their own lives and have little time to spare for someone wallowing in the consequences of their own choices.
Learning to accept responsibility and face consequences with your chin held high is an important byproduct of letting go of self-pity.
Stop Being A Victim!
I’ll never forget an experience I had at the age of 20. My platoon had been in the Mojave Desert for three grueling months. I had a notebook filled with random scribbles, poorly written poems, and overambitious goals. One day, my Platoon Sergeant—someone I despised at the time—grabbed the notebook and read one of my poems.
The poem was essentially me complaining about how tough and unfair my life was. I don’t remember all the lines, but one stuck with me: “They won’t respect you ‘til you’re twice deployed.”
After finishing the poem, he got in my face and yelled four simple words: “STOP BEING A VICTIM!”
At the time, I used it as yet another reason to dislike him. But now, years later, I realize it was some of the best advice I’ve ever received.
A Wild Thing Never Feels Sorry for Itself
There’s a quote I first heard in the movie G.I. Jane that took me far too long to appreciate. It’s from D.H. Lawrence:
“I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself.”
Sometimes, the best way to move forward is to draw from the raw, unrelenting resilience of nature.
Rejecting the Victim Mentality
As I’ve matured (albeit later than I’d like to admit), I’ve discovered that removing self-pity and victimhood from my mindset has been one of the most transformative actions I’ve ever taken.
When you allow yourself to play the victim in the narrative your mind spins, you give up your power. You relinquish responsibility—not just for what caused the event but for how you respond to it.
It’s easy to say, “I can’t believe this happened to me! Life is unfair. What’s the point of even trying?” But we can all see how unhelpful this mindset is.
When you refuse to play the victim, you reclaim control. Bad things will happen to you—sometimes due to bad luck, sometimes due to your own choices. You can’t control luck. But you can control how you respond. Take responsibility, learn from the experience, and keep moving forward.
Feeling sorry for yourself does absolutely nothing to help you.
The 90% That Matters
I’ll leave you with a quote we’ve all likely heard before, but it bears repeating:
"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it."
—Charles R. Swindoll
When you wallow in self-pity, that 90% will hold you back. It will drain your growth, happiness, and peace.
So stop feeling sorry for yourself. Take responsibility, adapt, and keep pushing forward. You’ll be amazed at the strength you discover when you do.
