THRIVING IN CHAOS
Life often throws us unexpected challenges, feeling like we're being swept up in a storm of chaos. During these times, staying calm and centered is essential to weathering life's tempests.
When I left the military, I anticipated a journey filled with freedom and excitement. However, I found myself plunged into internal chaos rather than external upheaval.
For many veterans, transitioning out of the military can be chaotic, perilous, and isolating. I was unprepared for the profound internal struggle that awaited me.
In the years following my military service, I was overwhelmed by anxiety, dissociation, depression, and panic. The weight of these emotions was so intense that it felt like my new reality might be impossible to escape.
Days blurred into weeks, and months into years, as I tried merely to survive each day, trapped in a cycle of misery and struggle. My anxiety drove me inward, making me focus solely on getting through each day without revealing my suffering to those around me. Balancing full-time college, a new marriage, and an impending baby, I wanted everyone to believe I had everything under control, even though I was spiraling rapidly. At times, I wished something tangible was actually wrong with me. I felt so mentally and physically unhealthy with an unknown cause, that a diagnosis, a plot point, or even some direction would have put my mind at ease.
I followed the conventional healthcare advice which is taking medication and attending therapy sessions where I was often treated as a burden. My experience with the system involved a plethora of medication and superficial questioning, as recommended by the "professionals."
Yet, amid the darkness, a voice within urged me not to succumb. I reminded myself, "Don’t let this darkness consume you." As Albert Einstein wisely noted, "In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity."
If something needs to be done, ignoring it will not make it go away. You can try and pretend that by erasing it from your mind, you will erase it from reality. But it is building interest in the darkness. I realized I was ruining my life by tolerating it. In Dante’s Inferno, it is said that “The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis.” I had to take action before I reserved my spot in my own mental purgatory.
My first step toward healing was accepting my anxiety as a part of my new reality. I knew I had to begin to have faith in myself, and trust the process. I realized that mastering mental health might be a distant goal, but understanding it was within reach. As writer Malcolm Gladwell suggests, mastering anything requires about 10,000 hours. Though I haven’t mastered my mental health, I’ve learned to understand and manage it better. I’ve shifted from reacting to responding. Chronic anxiety feels like navigating an endless storm, but thriving through it is possible.
Here are three strategies that helped me find peace amidst the chaos:
Prioritize Self-Care: In chaotic times, self-care is crucial. Non negotiables and exercise, like running and working out, became my go-to for managing anxiety and panic. Physical stress, when controlled, helped me handle mental stress more effectively.
Stay Organized: Creating a sense of order can help counteract chaos. Making to-do lists, prioritizing tasks, and breaking them into manageable steps helped me reduce worry and increase productivity.
Practice Gratitude: It’s easy to become consumed by what’s going wrong. To counter this, I made it a point to reflect on the positive aspects of my life, however small, and cultivate appreciation for the good things around me.
Thriving amidst chaos is about finding balance and harmony in a hectic world. It involves prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries, seeking support, being present, practicing mindfulness, and maintaining a positive outlook, even in tough times.
I believe mental health is as vital as physical health, though it is often overlooked. For anyone navigating life's chaos, remember it's okay not to have everything figured out. Embrace the chaos, learn from it, and let it propel you toward personal growth and well-being. Let chaos become a source of strength and empowerment in your journey toward mental health and happiness.
My journey is ongoing. I am still evolving. I am still in the process of becoming.
Stay Restless.
Cameron
